A heros hero.

A couple of years ago, I got a call that has haunted me ever since I uttered the word; "hello". I can tell you exactly where I was, what I was wearing, and who I was with, it's strange how our memories won't let us forget scary moments in our lives. You just never really expect to get a phone call from your sister telling you that you're dad's been in a scuba diving accident and went to the hospital via ambulance. It straight up scared me, here's a man i've known my whole life, a strong, healthy dad in the hospital after almost drowning to death in the ocean, I was scared and emotional. It's been about 3.5 years since that's happened and i'm still not over it (even though my dad is) every time my dad gets in the water to go for a dive he knows the rule and has to call me right after he's gotten out to tell me how it went and so that I know he's still alive.
My dad and I wow, we've had our moments, rain and shine he's one of the two people in this world that knows me the best, probably better than I know myself. He calls my bs, loves me when i'm being ridiculous, gives me grocery money, supports me in my dreams and aspirations, and laughs with me when I tell him about the stupid things I do with my friends. I don't know what I'd do without him and his wisdom. He's not the biggest of men, not a man's man if you will, but hes a hero's hero and he's my hero. If you look at his track record it's pretty much amazing what the man's done with his life, supporting a family of 6 (and one dog RIP besitos), building a very successful business from the ground up, serve a mission in a foreign country, and remaining a very active member of the church are just a few of the amazing things that he has done to bless my life. I love you dad, thank you for everything that you do.

It came in the form of a box...

I've never had such a hard semester of school and through the hard times, long days, and endless nights of cramming, it's such a comfort to know that I have the support of my family. That although they all can't be with me through this trying time in my life, that they send their love from afar. I was so grateful for the package that my parents put together for me, it was like a survival kit from them, packed with all my favorite foods, a card, a new phone, but even more so jam packed with their love and support for me! It meant a lot to me, it still does; it's sitting on my desk as a reminder to me that in this life I'm not alone. In this big world it's so easy to get caught up on our own problems and trials but really it's about the little things that make a difference in our own lives and in the lives of others. So yes, Love came to me in the form of a box a beautiful package from my parents. Thank you Mom and Dad for your continuous support and love, you mean so much to me.

Domestication.

I've never been a really girlie girl. Or at least I never thought of myself as one. Sure I like clothes, and use make up and do like to shop, but I never really liked to bake, cook, or be very you know, WOMANLY and lately I've lost any interest in motherly or womanly duties. I haven't held a baby since Christmas when I saw my niece and nephew, my laundry pile is always piled high and 3 baskets full when I finally get around to doing it, my bed hardly ever gets made until right before I get in it at night, and meals if that's what you call them consist of whatever I can find or make within the 20 minute time frame that I have to eat it in.
This semester however I've made a goal to eat better, exercise more, and to not put sleep off. The beginning of the semester was more of a challenge living with 5 other girls and then being in Salt Lake almost every weekend. But these last two weeks, I've had 2 great dinners with friends and family (my brother Michael) it was so great to sit around a table with friends and enjoy a good, well balanced, home cooked meal. Last night I invited over my guy friends Jamie and Lynn (who both funny enough have unsex names and who we had a dinner club with last semester), my other guy friends Jake and Joe, and then two of roommates, for a great home cook meal I prepared all by myself (which I was very proud of!) We had a Pot Roast, Mashed potatoes, rolls, green bean casserole, salad, and cake for dessert. Jamie, Lynn, and Kelly (roommate from last semester) and I used to have a dinner group once a month, but since she's left we haven't had one in for awhile. It was great, the food was delicious and the company was great. Every Sunday sometimes I get a little homesick for family dinners and home cooked meals, so it was nice to be with good friends to enjoy a great meal! I felt so domesticated.

Reap the Rewards of Your Labors.

Hard work it really does pay off and it feels so good when you reap the rewards from it all. It's those times that make the late nights, all the sacrifices, and even the suffering worth it. Today I had an oral exam in my Communicable and Non Communicable Disease class. The exam consisted of memorizing over 39 diseases, their symptoms, and possible treatment plans, all communicated orally, one on one to the professor. I studied for days, hours, made flashcards, took notes, reviewed the lectures, read the book and come 12:10 today it felt like I had forgotten everything that I had studied for the past week, and as I sat on the cold linoleum floor outside my professor's office, my heart sank into my shoes. My confidence that I had had 30 minutes prior to making the long walk to his office seemed to be nonexistent and gone, but as soon as I got into that office and remembered that I had given it my best effort and preparation, I rocked it! In the end I scored 49/50 on the Oral exam and even better my professor said that I had scored the highest out of his two sections. I beamed. I'm grinning ear to ear as I write this. The hard work is really worth it. Not only did I learn that and see that today, I know that this applies to more than school, or an oral test that I'm not going to remember in years to come, but more importantly that hard work is a life long process in every aspect of life. With relationships, with work, with our Heavenly Father. When it comes to hard work, I'm going to keep at it. Work my butt off to make my dreams come true and one day I'm going to sit back and think about all the blessings I've received from my hard work and from my Heavenly Father. :) :) :)

Minus One.

Well, I'm back to the single life and my mom said; "THAT'S OKAY!" And as hard as it has been this last week or so, those two little words have helped me throughout this whole process. To keep a level mind, to think of the eternal perspective or the big picture and although I really feel true sorrow, honest to my core, I know that, THAT'S OKAY! The feelings of; loss, hurt, and real grief got to be so overbearing that I finally broke down and just sobbed and cried to my mom for a good amount of time over the phone, the whole time she was just so supportive and
loving of my decision and one of the hardest decisions I've had to make in a long time. And although the decision was necessary it still hurt a great deal, and was sad and scary. It's days and times like these that the little things are so important and eventually they really turn into the big things that keep us alive. An unexpected card from my sister who I'm sure sent it before she knew what happened but arrived with good timing, A sunny day, A diet coke from my roommate, a long talk with a good friend, and all the love and support that I've felt from all of those near and far. People say; 'It's not the end of the world!' but it was the end of that world that I shared with him and it was a hard end. I'm still not over it and have my moments of weakness still, but I know that That's okay. Now to just let time do its healing thing...

Mother May I...

This is one of my favorite pictures that I have of my parents and I. It's hanging above my bed and follows with me to every place that I move. It reminds me of the love that my parents and I have for each other and what it took for them to be mine and I to be there's.
My mom and I have a special relationship, she has become one of my best friends and I tell her everything and anything but it wasn't always like this though. There were the days of slamming doors, silent treatments, and much more that I put my mother through, but through it all my mom stood by my side and always had my back. Although I am not with her everyday anymore I know she is just a phone call away. She's always there for me to share my joys, to comfort me when I'm sad and to hold my hand through the good times and the bad. I love you mom very much.

"Plans change"

Change is one of my least favorite words and even more so one of my least favorite things to go through. At a young age I was taught by this phrase from my mother; "Plans Change!" and to this day that profound statement rings true (as she said it would). As I go through life and get older I realized it's the constant things in life that I can look towards and gain strength from to help through drastic changes and to adjust.
Things like; I'm always have my family. They are my rock, they have been so far and always will be there to support and love me and are on my team. The church is my foundation and the love I receive from Jesus Christ and my Heavenly Father helps me everyday to adjust and reform. Lately whenever I feel sad, discouraged, or lost I've been turning to conference talks past and present to lift me up and to help change my attitude. I was talking to Brian one day about how everything is changing and how I actually was scared, and unsure about gaining 5 new roommates how sad I was for my best friend to leave, he suggested that I read this talk from this last conference about; waiting to see the outcome and not jumping to conclusions and being patient with the Lord. (Isn't he great!?!) That talk particularly helped me to realize I need to be more patient with the Lord have more faith in the plan he has for me!
Life is always changing, that's really the story of mine so far. I've moved over 8 times in the last 4 years and on the way I have made and met so many different friends and people , was engaged and then suddenly unengaged, made mistakes then laughed about them later, dated tons, loved some, but most importantly I've gained memories and experiences which have defined my life and now looking back I ask myself; "How did I even get through that?" or "Oh my gosh how stupid!". Change for the better is the only change coming my way in the future.